Flashback: National Be Your Best Self Week 2012 - Part 4

The series of posts over the next several days will feature essays on National Be Your Best Self Week 2012. These posts were the winning entries for the three Be Your Best Self Satellite Awards and Distinguished Outreach Award presented at the 55th Distinguished Young Women National Finals in June. National Be Your Best Self Week is a week-long outreach effort presented by Distinguished Young Women each spring. Participants at all levels of the program (local, state and national) engage in community outreach to share the positive message of the Be Your Best Self program. For more information, visit http://www.distinguishedyw.org/be_your_best_self/.

As the Distinguished Young Woman of Cut Bank for 2012, there were several opportunities to serve my community. Given the time of my local program, I had the chance to participate in two Be Your Best Self weeks! It has been a fulfilling experience and I plan on carrying forward the memories of this past year of service. Whether it was me interacting with children or informing adults about the BYBS program, I was always happy and proud to do it. This year I have performed several presentations and projects to show others how to be their best selves and it was not only beneficial to them, but to me as well, because I always felt like I was improving along with them.

One of my presentations led me to the very isolated community of Babb on the Blackfeet

reservation. My sister Amanda (who was the Distinguished Young Woman of Montana at the time) and I were participating in the Montana Storytelling Roundup to inform others about the BYBS program. We arrived at the school and were set to perform in front of the students. I remember that there weren't very many kids. The teacher told us that we were the first presentation to come for the entire year. I performed my talent for them, which they got a good laugh from, and spoke to them about how they can be their best selves. They were so hungry to talk with us and they were very good about interacting and discussing the 5 points of the BYBS program. It was certainly the presentation I feel made the biggest impact on the kids. I thought we were there only for an hour or so, but later realized that we
were there four hours. None of us wanted it to end!

During the last few weeks of my service as Distinguished Young Woman of Cut Bank, I started working at the elementary After School program. While working there I noticed that they had set up a program called the Kid pack program. This involves members of the community donating food and the school would pack it into backpacks and send them home with students whose families needed a little extra help. I never once thought that child hunger could ever exist here, but having kids ask if they can take their snack home so they can have something to eat over the weekend really wakes you up to how harsh reality is. I also realized that if there are small children in this situation there must be students in

the middle and high schools in the same boat. That's why I started a Kidpack program for the older schools. I challenged all of the high school and middle school students in my school to step up to the plate and to Be Their Best Selves during the BYBS week. Their challenge was to collect food for the school food pantry and since we are in school I had to make it a class competition. I was so overwhelmed at how excited they became over this project. We ended up with more food than we could use before the end of the year, so we will be donating what is left to our town's food pantry to help them get through the summer. I know it won't solve the problem but it helps and brings awareness to the problem. What I also hope we accomplished is to show middle school and high school students that they can really make a difference in the lives of others and how good it makes you feel.

The Be Your Best Self program has done so much for me and I hope it was able to connect in the hearts of those who have listened to its message through me. My community and this amazing program have done so much for me in the past that I was not only happy but honored to represent and serve both of them. Even though there is no title now, there still is the passion to make a difference and the Be Your Best Self program is a great way to connect with people of all ages.

Alexis Wineman was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Cut Bank (Montana) for 2012. She was the recipient of the Distinguished Outreach Award presented at the 55th Distinguished Young Women National Finals held June 2012 in Mobile, Alabama.

The Role Models We Become

As little girls, we would often look to the real, grown women in our lives for assurance and guidance.  We would sit on the countertop watching our grandmother craft a red velvet cake and soon find our little hands covered in flour, trying to help.  We'd admire our fun first grade teacher and come home from school to set up our own pretend classroom where we’d teach imaginary students how to tell time or spell "Wednesday."  We were mesmerized by our babysitter's prom dress and sparkly shoes and dressed up, dreaming of one day going to prom ourselves.  We watched our favorite soccer player or violinist and decided that we, too, wanted to do something that great one day.

 As we grow up, the roles shift on.  We realize that it's now our turn to become the young women we used to idolize.  Yet, life is busy.  It is easy to become overwhelmed, drowned in to-do lists, appointments and deadlines.  But little eyes are watching and little ears are listening.  Little girls are growing up.  And we are the ones who they are watching.  

Through my time so far as the Distinguished Young Woman of America, I have had the opportunity to meet some women who are ground-breaking.  Women who are empowered, humble, captivating and warm.  Women who are distinguished even though they don't have a medallion around their necks to prove it.  Women who are more than willing to take time to talk with and listen to the people around them, to be the type of women little girls need to look up to.

Recently, I found three such women.  I met the governor of North Carolina, Beverly Perdue, who is the first female governor of my state and has blazed the trail for protecting education.  She was so delightful and although I'm sure she is overwhelmed with the end of her term as governor, she took time to talk with me, laugh with me and ask me about my life.  She loves the Distinguished Young Women program and admires what it does for young women.

Taking a quick photo with Governor Beverly Perdue.

This week, I met two more extraordinary women.  The first African American female mayor of my town, Mayor Terry Bellamy, recognized me at a City Council meeting and talked about the importance of Distinguished Young Women.  She exudes humility, integrity and kindness and has done a brilliant job managing the diverse needs of our city.  The other young woman who was recognized that night was Lauren Tamayo, a down-to-earth and exceptionally talented Olympic Silver Medalist in cycling.  In many of the photos from her return home from London, she is surrounded by little girls giving her drawings and hugs.  

Receiving the key to the City of Asheville from Mary Terry Bellamy.

Posing with Olympic Silver Medalist Lauren Tamayo.

There is one thing in particular that all of these remarkable women obviously have in common.  They exude the importance and blessing of being a role model.

We have endless opportunities to be the type of women who give the fictional, princess heroines of our childhood a run for their money.  This doesn't mean being perfect.  In fact, sometimes the greatest lessons we can teach the little girls in our lives come when we make a mistake and accept it with humility, rising up to the consequences and chances to be better with discipline and accountability.  What the girls in our world today need are women who truly want to make things better, believe they matter and make sure the people around them know that each of them matter too.

So the next time we have a chance to be a role model, let's take it!  Take it seriously.  Take the time to be a real life role model for this generation of little girls, not one who is only heroic in articles about her in the newspaper or fairy tales about her in a story book.  That may mean volunteering for a Boys and Girls Club, asking your next door neighbor how she is liking fifth grade, deciding to dress a little classier because your little sister wants to be just like you or someday taking the time to sign a gazillion autographs in novels, playbills or CD covers for little girls who would be heartbroken if you didn't.  It can seem like a daunting task, but ultimately I think it is a beautiful blessing to think that we can help convince little girls that they matter -- just by how we live out our lives, big moments and the details.  Maybe someday, when a young woman is looking back on her life and the women who made a difference in who she became, you'll be a part of her story.

With gratitude and in the spirit,

Christina Maxwell 

Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2012

Christina Maxwell is preparing to start her freshman year at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan majoring in musical theater. Originally from Asheville, North Carolina,  Christina was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of North Carolina for 2012 and the Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2012.

Flashback: National Be Your Best Self Week 2012 - Part 3

The series of posts over the next several days will feature essays on National Be Your Best Self Week 2012. These posts were the winning entries for the three Be Your Best Self Satellite Awards and Distinguished Outreach Award presented at the 55th Distinguished Young Women National Finals in June. National Be Your Best Self Week is a week-long outreach effort presented by Distinguished Young Women each spring. Participants at all levels of the program (local, state and national) engage in community outreach to share the positive message of the Be Your Best Self program. For more information, visit http://www.distinguishedyw.org/be_your_best_self/.

Upon opening my Distinguished Young Women National Finals book and reading of the Be Your Best Self presentation that I was to give, my initial thought was that this was a fabulous and unique way to impact the young people of my community. What I did not realize at the time, was not only how much of an impact I could potentially have on the kids, but more surprisingly, what impact they could have on me. I never could have pictured how much I would learn about giving, teaching and about myself through this program.

The initial task—how to present the five elements. After tossing around several ideas from doing an adventure themed presentation to puzzle pieces, I settled on an Olympic themed presentation due to the upcoming Summer Olympics. Each of the five elements – be healthy, be involved, be studious, be ambitious and be responsible—represented a color of the Olympic rings. In the Olympic rings, each is linked together showing unity. Similarly, each of the five elements can be linked together in order to help better one’s self, ambition and drive towards success.

I made my presentation to a group of 24 kindergarten through fifth grade boys and girls at Crossroads Community Church in Parker, Colorado. I was eager to jump into this experience and share the Be Your Best Self message with so many anxious and outgoing kids. 

While the kids were beginning to be dropped off at the room, I went around to each table to get to know their name and talk with them. I was also offered the pleasant surprise to work with three special needs kids in my group. As I was getting to know more of the kids as they came in, I noticed a girl in a purple, flowery dress sitting quietly amongst the others just coloring on a coloring sheet. I went over to her, introduced myself, and asked what her name was. She stopped coloring, kept looking down, remained silent, then continued coloring. I could see through her wispy brown hair that her name tag read Shylah. Only moments later, I was told that Shylah was a special needs child. I was determined to get to know her better throughout my presentation and I hoped that she would open up to me.

I began my presentation by asking the kids if they knew what the Olympics were. I was overwhelmed by the response as they were eager to participate in the discussion. They were thrilled when they heard that we were going to be building the Olympic rings together. I began with the first ring, the color blue, and my first element, being healthy. On one side of the ring, I had the element. I began an interactive session of the kids sharing what being healthy meant to them along with how they can be healthy. On the back side of the ring, I had the Distinguished Young Woman’s definition of being healthy along with my own. I proceeded through this format for each of the five elements until we had formed the Olympic rings on the board. Many of the kids were jumping out of their seat and wanting to participate or guess what elements such as studious or ambitious meant. To my surprise, even Shylah quietly raised her hand to speak. Even if I didn’t call on her for a specific element, she still raised her hand for the next. In a wee, quiet voice, she responded to my question I had asked to the whole group. I was so thankful that she was breaking out of her shell and opening up to me. 

Following our discussion, we had our own “Mini Olympic Games.” We had an opening ceremony where we all stood together, hand in hand, and passed a squeeze along the circle. I explained to the kids that just like the Olympic athletes, we are all united and are here to support one another. Although it was a simple gesture, I could tell that the kids really understood what we were doing. Following our opening ceremony, we did an egg race – where each team had to carry an egg on a spoon across a short distance without dropping, place their egg on a plate and race back to their team to hand off the spoon to their teammate (of course these eggs were hard boiled as to prevent any serious messes from being formed on the floor). No doubt for me, this was so exciting to watch and participate in. I watched as once quite little Shylah walked slowly, balancing her egg on the spoon, while her teammates were constantly cheering her on. A huge smile swept across her face and I couldn’t feel anything but joy. The kids were so ambitious with the game and showed powerful determination even when their egg fell to the ground and they had to start over. 

Following our Olympic games, each participant was awarded a gold medal which I placed around their neck. Their faces lit up and I could see how proud they were. After taking a big “team” picture, I distributed goody bags to each of the kids which included a drink, snacks, and a mini notebook which had the five elements listed on the cover.

After thinking my experience for my Be Your Best Self presentation was complete, I was given something that has no physical value, purely emotional. Shylah, the special needs child who wouldn’t even look at me only an hour before and was so quiet too speak, wrapped her arms tightly around my waist and whispered “thank you so much Miss Lauren.” I was truly blessed to have a girl like her in my group and to watch her open up to me through the discussions and activities. It was then that I realized what being a Distinguished Young Woman is about and what impact we can have on others. It’s not about being the best dancer, most popular or greatest at every little thing we do. To me, being a Distinguished Young Woman means having the ability to connect with others and share a little part of myself while setting a good role model for younger generations to look up to. It means that I want to better my community and make positive choices to not only be the best that I can be, but also help others to be the best self that they can be as well. I am so thankful for this wonderful opportunity to work with these kids and to encourage them to live a life they can be proud of.  

Originally from Parker, Colorado,  Lauren Hoppa was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Colorado for 2012. She was the recipient of the Be Your Best Self Satellite Award at the 55th Distinguished Young Women National Finals held June 2012 in Mobile, Alabama.

Flashback: National Be Your Best Self Week 2012 - Part 2

The series of posts over the next several days will feature essays on National Be Your Best Self Week 2012. These posts were the winning entries for the three Be Your Best Self Satellite Awards and Distinguished Outreach Award presented at the 55th Distinguished Young Women National Finals in June. National Be Your Best Self Week is a week-long outreach effort presented by Distinguished Young Women each spring. Participants at all levels of the program (local, state and national) engage in community outreach to share the positive message of the Be Your Best Self program. For more information, visit http://www.distinguishedyw.org/be_your_best_self/.

                  "I help with Emma’s Touch, a local foundation for childhood cancer!” a young girl exclaimed from the second row during the “Involvement” section of my BYBS presentation. This moment reminded me how blessed I was to have the opportunity to speak on such a profound subject. Due to recent suicides within our county as a result of bullying, I spoke on building self esteem and walking in others’ shoes during my presentation.

                  My presentation was in front of the entire fifth grade at my local elementary school.  Due to a lack of a Boy’s and Girl’s club in my community, I chose to speak to this fifth grade class. I really enjoyed speaking to this age group, as they are still interested in fun activities such as paper chains, yet they are mature enough to understand the topics of drugs and bullying. There were sixty students listening in on my presentation as I went through the five different subjects used to build the “best self”. “Be healthy, be involved, be studious, be ambitious, and be responsible”, I described each of these subjects and gave examples of how each subject can be carried out.

 As the children sat in front of me I was able to remember how I was at that age. In fifth grade, I felt like I could rule the world; face anything that came to me.  Little did I know that I had not experienced even half of the challenges of growing up. I tried my best to be real with the children. I told them how I felt and how I acted at their age. I tried my best to assure them that being an individual is the best thing they can do to prepare for life. As we went through the five topics of my presentation I continued to remind them that they are wonderful individuals and everything that they do can impact others. 

I made sure to take time to key in on all of the guidelines provided by BYBS to assure that the children grasped the whole picture our program is trying to display. I began with “Health”. Each topic came with a slide in my slideshow. As I popped up the topic of health I asked them if they could name different ways in which to stay healthy. The fifth graders raised their hands anxiously, “Exercise!” they yelled; “Eating fruits!” I heard. I was excited over the knowledge that the children already had on the subject, however I was even more excited to be able to share that keeping a clear mind and staying drug free can also be healthy. The children were so eager to learn and even more eager to share their knowledge with me. I made sure to let the students participate as much as possible. I felt as though it was very important to take in their ideas and give them a moment to prove themselves (build self esteem). 

I went through the same procedure for each topic, being involved, being studious, being ambitious, and being responsible. The fifth graders learned the definition of ambition, while discovering that they already had some inside.  I was very thrilled to teach a new word to the children; however it was the next topic that was the most personally rewarding.

 As the children were already fully aware, a sixth grade boy in their neighboring school had just committed suicide a week before. The suspected cause was in-school bullying. Being the third one in our county this year, the school systems cracked down on bullying policies. I took this opportunity to remind my audience that picking on others because of their looks or possessions is diminutive. I took this serious time to zero in on the fact that everyone has feelings and we cannot see into their lives. I asked them to practice “walking in their enemy’s shoes”.  I then told them, “Someone in this room may have a hard life at home. They may not have someone there that they can trust. Also, someone in this room picks on that one person.” It was sad to see the children turn and look at each other, knowing that I had made a good guess. I told them that the bully or bullies should change their ways; but I really focused on telling the children that if they are being picked on and there is no one at home to talk to, that they could find someone at school. I even went as far to tell them that if there was no one at school that they felt comfortable talking to, they can talk to me after the presentation and I will give them my phone number. I was very much upset by this topic. I really hoped that this serious time touched at least one child. Letting them know that they have a chance and they have someone in this world.

After I finished my five subjects I gave them each an activity. I gave all sixty students a piece of paper with the five subjects listed. I asked them to write one thing that they will do from each subject to be their best self. They then signed the paper, promising me that they will do their best to follow through. I proceeded to take each paper and staple them together creating a paper chain representing all the students coming together to be their best selves.  As I went around to staple the chain together, a young girl from the back row whispered up my name. “Jennifer. Miss Jennifer, may I please have your phone number?” My heart melted. She was obviously embarrassed to ask near other children, yet she was brave enough to reach for help. I leaned down and whispered my number to her and told her that she could call me anytime and that I was more than willing to talk to her if she needs.

As I left that classroom I found something within myself that told me that no matter what happens in Alabama at National Finals, I have been given this opportunity for a reason. If my reason was to only give that little girl hope, my mission is accomplished. I have found my best self.

Originally from Princeton, West Virginia,  Jennifer Pruett was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of West Virginia for 2012. She was the recipient of the Be Your Best Self Satellite Award at the 55th Distinguished Young Women National Finals held June 2012 in Mobile, Alabama.

Flashback: National Be Your Best Self Week 2012 - Part 1

The series of posts over the next several days will feature essays on National Be Your Best Self Week 2012. These posts were the winning entries for the three Be Your Best Self Satellite Awards and Distinguished Outreach Award presented at the 55th Distinguished Young Women National Finals in June. National Be Your Best Self Week is a week-long outreach effort presented by Distinguished Young Women each spring. Participants at all levels of the program (local, state and national) engage in community outreach to share the positive message of the Be Your Best Self program. For more information, visit http://www.distinguishedyw.org/be_your_best_self/.

The idea of “Be Your Best Self” is so simple and almost elementary. Yet those four words hold the power to plant a seed in children that will forever transform them.  I have learned this lesson as I shared and celebrated the BYBS message with underprivileged children through my role as Distinguished Young Woman of North Carolina.

One particular presentation was especially memorable for me.  I recently presented the BYBS message to about 50 elementary-school age children at the Boys and Girls Club in my community.  I wanted to make sure that the message would be fun for them and leave a personal and lingering impact.  So, I gave each child a handful of colorful play-doh and let them spend time molding it into something that represented what they wanted to become one day.  

            

As they worked with the play-doh, I walked around, talking with each child and listening to them talk about their dreams for the future. I marveled at the beautiful magnifying glass an aspiring chemist created and the pair of ballet shoes a future ballet teacher molded.  After they shared what they created, I then explained that we are a lot like play-doh.  We can become anything that we want to if we work hard and make good choices. The decisions we make each day help mold us into the person we become.  I then shared the five areas of decisions we make every day-- to be healthy, involved, studious, ambitious and responsible.  I asked the kids to help me come up with examples of good decisions we can make in each area.  I was amazed as they took over and gushed about how they take care of their younger sisters, try to defend a kid who gets made fun of or decide not to cheat on a test.  We also talked about mistakes.  I took a piece of play-doh and smashed it into a pancake between my hands.  I explained that we are all human and that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we mess up.  However, no matter how big the mistake is, it is never too late to start over to become something new -- just as you can mold smashed play-doh into a new creation.

Afterwards, I sat around with the kids laughing and talking and listening to how the message had inspired them. Kids ran up to me, touching and looking at my medallion and showing off their play-doh creations.  One little boy asked if they could please keep what they made.  When I told the children they could keep their creations, they squealed and ran off to their backpacks to put their treasures, reminders of their dreams, in a safe place.  

I then shared with them that my passion was performing.  I talked about what my dreams are and how hard I have worked and practiced.  Then I sang a special, inspirational song for them.  Afterwards, four little girls surrounded me, begging me to teach them to sing.  Long after all the other kids had run off to their other activities, I taught  those four little girls “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, singing each phrase to them and then helping them sing it back and piece the phrases together.  It tugged at my heart to see the sense of accomplishment and joy swell up in them when we recorded them singing and then let them listen to their own performance.

When I talked to the executive director afterwards, he shared with me that these children came from very difficult and sad home lives.  He explained that one child had even come to the program one day with rope burn around his neck where he had been dragged through his yard.  Coming from homes where they are neglected, abused and certainly never encouraged to “be their best self”, some people would predict that these children will never reach their full potential.  I wish those people could have been there with me that day.  It was inspirational and reassuring to watch as these children joyfully and effortlessly latched onto the chance to be happy by working hard at something new.  The opportunity to explore in a safe place where they were encouraged and respected gave them solid ground to grow from.  That is something every child deserves to have.  I was so touched by my experience with the children at our Boys and Girls Club, that I plan to dedicate my next annual benefit concert’s proceeds and message to the club.  I want to come back and help those little girls prepare “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” as a choir to sing in the concert.

            

            Earlier this year through the Distinguished Young Women of North Carolina program, I had the privilege of joining a sister county representative to share the BYBS message with another very special group of children in a Greensboro underprivileged elementary school.

            

           We walked around as they worked with their play-doh, and my attention was drawn to a little boy who carefully crafted an intricate and colorful fruit cart.  It was a true piece of art -- not merely an elementary play-doh creation.  I complimented him on the beautiful sculpture and asked him if he wanted to be an artist.  He looked up at me with his brown eyes and said “Well, that would be really nice.  But I need to be a pro football player so that I can make a lot of money to send home to help my family.”  I was so touched by his maturity and giving heart far beyond his years that I sat and talked with him, trying to encourage him to be true to what he is passionate about and believe that he has something special to offer.  As we continued with our presentation, I noticed a new spark in him -- something that I think may have been the courage to believe in his own abilities and promise.

          The “Be Your Best Self” message is one that I have been blessed to witness and carry forth.  I believe that it has the power to transform the self-esteem and futures of young people everywhere. I watched it inspire hope, confidence, joy and dreams in children who are facing the most difficult of trials.  I know that I will be a life-long ambassador of this program, carrying it with me wherever I go and sharing a piece of it with whomever I meet.

Christina Maxwell is preparing to start her freshman year at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan majoring in musical theater. Originally from Asheville, North Carolina,  Christina was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of North Carolina for 2012 and the Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2012.